First off hello!! I’d most definitely would like to apologize for my absence on the inter-webs. I mean I have an excuse it was exam week or as I like to put it the exam apocalypse.
Aside from that I come to you with something that has been bothering me for months.
Friendship. Period. I said it.
I literally have been so stressed with it that I told my mom that I’d rather deal with a relationship then a friendship, crazy talk am I right!?!
I have concluded this, I mean it’s somewhat true due to Carolynns scientific thinking, just kidding, it’s probably not true at all but here’s what I came up with. In a relationship people come to you when they are about to make a dumb decision, but friends only come after they had made the bad decision and they expect you to hide the body. I mean I’m kinda right? They exspect you to clean up their mess?
I’ve obviously titled this “What I need people to understand about me.” because we are all complex human beings and sometimes I just need people to understand the very complex person I am.
First I’d like to say is this, I am the type of person who is constantly in service of people, I hate to sound arrogant but I am selfless and can say that there is not one bone in my body that wants to the selfish. The word itself makes me cringe. I am so service orientated that I could literally keep on keeping on until I am so overwhelmed that I can’t breathe.
Secondly with that being said when my friends come to me with their questions, comments, concerns and problems I am always ready to drop everything and help. I am not one of those people who will tell you what you want to hear, I make it my life’s mission to give it to you straight. I try my best not to tell you what I’d do in that situation but instead I challenge your idea, I will ask you questions that will get you thinking, to truly see if what you want to do is right. And I only do that because I care about you.
Thirdly (if that’s even a word.) Considering that my top two love languages are words of affirmation and quality time, I need to feel appreciated and known that you appreciated the sacrifices I’ve made. I also, need to know that your alive, if you go radio silent or MIA for a week or so I’m going to think that you hate me. Let’s be honest, we all do this and its human nature to think the worst.
Fourthly I hate gifts, I know, I know. “Carolynn hate is a strong word.” I get that but may I reference back to reason one and three, because of who I am I hate them. I cannot help it but to feel selfish when I get gifts when that the money could’ve been used to benefit other people who need it more than me. Not only that but it makes me feel awkward and for those of you who actually know me, I am the best awkward person there is.
Anywho so guys, I hope you’ve enjoyed this blog post or that you have learned something about me that you haven’t before but like the old saying says, it takes two to tango. SO DON’T go MIA for a week at a time and keep me posted. I’ll do my best to try and do the same during the holidays
Happy Holidays Y’all
||Wake Pray Slay||