||May 26th 2016||
As I sit here in my classroom after exams I cannot help but wonder about the word calling. While it may bring someone comfort, it can also bring them anxiety.
Lately I’ve been feeling a pull towards ministry and that’s a whole jumble of different feelings.
Before God even revealed his calling to me, the word itself always gave me comfort. That even when I didn’t have a calling I knew that God would reveal it to me in his perfect timing.
God does not call the equipped but he equips the called.
I myself struggle with the idea of becoming a pastor, what if I’m not good enough? Why would God call me to this? I’m not ready to become a mentor to others? I haven’t memorized bible stories yet!
See, but the more I ponder on the thought of what God’s calling means to me, I see him showing me that I am becoming equipped through him.
I may not have realized it in the past but when I revealed my testimony to a couple (now) close friends, he was giving me a group of friends who were gonna give me confidence and to push me to do what he called me to do even when I don’t feel equipped.
Believe me when I said that months ago I didn’t feel equipped to write a five minute sermon and then preach in front of people.
I’ve never done anything like that before! I mean sure I write essays, research papers, and presentations but to take a passage of scripture and create a sermon?! Crazy! I am only 16 how does one even do that?
I wrote and I searched for scriptures for what seemed like forever but it was actually an hour. I’d write drafts and read them off but it still didn’t seem right. After five drafts, I threw up my hands and shouted
“God? What am I doing wrong?!”
I did the only thing I knew how to do, I prayed. I was so unsure about God calling me to write a Short Sermon. I was so scared that I had made the wrong decision.
In the time I prayed and God reminded me that he called me to participate in Fine Arts for a reason. I had a burning desire to participate in Fine Arts to ultimately give him the glory, the problem was I didn’t know how to give him the glory. I had no idea how to write a sermon.
So I finally looked up and said,
“Alright, God I’m gonna do this but I’m not going to get anywhere without your guidance.”
I sat up and began writing my sermon again but not with my own guidance but His. Every time I got stuck or I didn’t know how to put my thoughts into words, I would stop and ask him to give me the words to say.
In all truth, he was with me through every word and every step of the way.
I ended up finishing that Sermon and almost made it to National Fine Arts. Also, I went on to give my sermon a total of 3 times in front of my church. I honesty had no idea that I could ever write a sermon or let alone preach in front of the church congregation on Sunday.
What I didn’t realize was that for the last 8 months God was equipping me for my calling and he still is. I didn’t ending up teaching Sunday School on accident, it wasn’t a coincidence that after three months of being in that classroom that he called me to ministry.
God is slowly but surely equipping me. Through friends, teaching, and preaching. I’ve come such a long way from being the shy girl in youth group who would never talk to anyone. From being the girl who thought kids were gremlin with horns. He helped me and guided me through all of this.
I am absolutely confident that with God anything is possible. Your calling may be scary but in Phillippians 4:13 it says “I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” You may not have the strength to overcome nervousness but I know someone who does.
For it says in 2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
For you may be weak but our God is strong. So when you think about giving up because it’s to hard, don’t. The closer we get to God the more the enemy is going to try to stop us.
Don’t let Satan steal your joy. I know I’m not, I’ve come way to far to let someone who already lost take me down.
||Wake, Pray, Slay||